Dating

This week in class we discussed dating. I would like to address the 4 steps to dating which are 1) dating, 2) courting, 3) engagement, and 4) marriage.

 

What exactly is dating? Dating is “a stage of romantic relationships  whereby two people meet socially with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship.” Now this is more of societies definition of dating. I personally feel like dating is getting to know people and getting to know what personality fits best with yours and what you want in your future spouse. Dating doesn’t necessarily mean being exclusive with one person and I feel like it’s really important to date lots of people because that way you will truly know what you like and don’t like and a partner. Dating is also a great time to get to know yourself and the quirks that you have.  

 

When you do find a partner that you want to pursue a more in-depth relationship with is when you start to court that person. Courting is defined as “being involved with someone romantically, typically with the intention of marrying.” This is when things start getting more serious, and you are exclusive with one person. You start to hang out with that person more and start trying to figure out if you guys are truly compatible. You start being more open with this person and sharing more details of your life. You start sharing more of your hopes and dreams, your struggles, and biggest fears. 

 

The next stage of your relationship with this person is engagement. Being engaged to someone it’s a huge step towards marriage. It changes your status with each other and shows a big level of commitment not only to yourselves but your life together. You show that things are not only about you anymore but about you, your your significant other, and the life you guys are trying to build together. You guys start making bigger life decisions together and start trying to prepare for your future life as a couple. A lot of people think it’s a good idea to cohabitate (live together) while being engaged and I think this is a very bad idea. It has been said that people who cohabitate before being married have a higher percent rate of getting a divorce than people who don’t. There is a timeline for things in our life and if we stick to that timeline we will be happier and have more success in our relationships. How long the engagement is is on an individual bassist. What works for one couple may not work for another and we as a society need to stop putting pressure on couples to have a certain timeline for how long the engagement is. Some couples want to get married fast and that’s great and some want to wait and build the relationship even more and to save up and that’s just as great as getting married fast. 

 

The next and last step is obviously marriage. This is the end goal, but marriage is hard! You need to think of more than just yourself and start thinking about someone else. A lot of people tend to say that marriage is 50-50 but I was taught from a  young age that marriage is 100-100. Both people in the relationship need to be putting forth all of their effort in order to make the marriage last. Now this doesn’t mean that people aren’t gonna have bad days because they are, but that’s when the other person needs to step up and put forth just a little bit more effort until the other person gets over the hump that they are in and is ready to put forth all of their effort again. When you are married to someone you need to be prepared to help carry that person through the hard times as well as the good times. That is why when we are married we say in “sickness and in health”. We don’t just say I love you only during the good times, but it’s I’ll love you through the good and the bad.         

 

Life is not going to be all rainbows and butterflies but I know that as we put forth the effort and as we love people and want what’s best for them that we can have successful relationships. In life we are meant to have relationships and these steps are going to help us to be able to find a lifelong best friend and the person that we want to spend forever with. Each step is just as important as the next and we should not skip steps because we learn new things at every step along the way.