Transitions in Marriage

This week in class we discussed transitions in marriage. There are a lot of transitions that go on when you’re married. For example, there is the initial moving in together after getting married, having a baby, having a second baby, and moving. There is more, but these are the ones I want to talk about today.

When two people gets married it can be an adjustment to move in with another person. They might do things that are completely different from the way you think they need to be done. Like maybe you grew up where the dishes get done every night before you go to bed, and they were raised where they let them sit for a few days and then do them. That can get annoying and cause problems. But when people are willing to work through problems, the relationship they have with each other will grow and become stronger. The leader of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, President Russell M. Nelson, has said “"Meanwhile, mortal misunderstandings can make mischief in marriage. In fact, each marriage starts with two built-in handicaps. It involves two imperfect people. Happiness can come to them only through their earnest effort. Just as harmony comes from an orchestra only when its members make a concentrated effort, so harmony in marriage also requires a concerted effort. That effort will succeed in each partner will minimize personal demands and maximize actions of loving selflessness." People were meant to be different and just because someone does something in a different way than you doesn’t make them a bad person, it makes them human. The main part of marriage is two people bring their own individual lives together to form one life. It means making sacrifices and being willing to compromise.

After a couple gets married and gets use to living together, the next transition usually is having children. That completely changes the dynamic of a family. You go from a family of 2 to a family of 3. That’s an extra person you have to take into consideration when making decisions about the family. Also, moms and dads need to work together to take care of that child. If one person is solely taking on the responsibility (changing diapers, feeding, bathing, getting up in the night) it will cause exhaustion and can cause some resentment of the partner for not helping more. Communication is key in making any relationship last. This is also true with the addition of more children. You need to make sure the children you already have don’t feel replaced or forgotten when you bring new baby brother or sister home. Help them see the importance of being a big brother or sister and how fun it can be helping mommy and daddy take care of their new sibling.

Another transition is moving. Moving is a normal part of life. Some people move more often than others and some only move once or twice. I think it's important for children to grow up moving because it teaches them to adapt to new situations and I personally feel like it helps strengthen the family bond. I grew up with my dad in the Air Force and we moved quite a bit when I was younger. Every time we moved, I always had my family and it helped me realize they are always going to the consistent in my life. Friends come and go, but your family will always be there. Even if they are hundreds of miles away. Moving wasn’t always easy, but with my family by my side, it make it easier and an exciting adventure.

With any change of the family, it takes time to transition into the new normal. We need to have patience with our family members as they try to adjust to the new way of life. That means loving them and letting them know that you are there to support them in anything they need. Everyone takes a different amount of time to adjust to a new situation and we don’t want to rush anyone who may need more time than we do.